Inside sources with the New England Patriots have let it slip that the Patriots are turning lemons into lemonade concerning their recent violation of NFL rules. While there is apparently no truth to the rumors that head coach Bill Belichick is changing his name to Beliflick, the news of new team sponsors has leaked out with the image found below.

- Bill Belichick’s title will be changed from “Head Coach” to “Director”
- Team introductions will now be referred to as “the opening credits”.
- The “helmet cam” will be replaced by the “opposing coach’s clipboard cam”.
- New Assistant Coach: Steven Spielberg.
- Famed TV psychic Sylvia Brown will come in on Saturday Night’s to predict the opposition’s game plan for the next day.
- Super Bowl rings will be replaced with Super Hero Decoder Rings.
- Bill Belichick was known to never want to speak to Jets coach Eric Mangini again, he has since changed this to “never ever again”.

Neither head coach had much to say regarding either the videotaping incident or the punishment handed down, although when asked if he ever thought that his coaching staff had been videotaped during a game, Belichick replied “If I thought I was ending up on film, do you think I’d dress like this?”