What If Footballs Came Inside Oysters?
Think for a minute… what if footballs were not made of leather or pigskin or even cheap rubber or vinyl. Think if instead they came inside oysters. Not only would this completely destroy the market for pearls, but it would also alter the football landscape as well.
- Having been created underwater, footballs would no longer become too hard to hold onto if they became wet.
- Some of the best football prospects in the world would come from the Fiji Islands or the Gulf of Mexico.
- Footballs would be graded on how close they are to perfection.
- Women would love to get a strand of footballs when Valentine’s Day rolled around.
These are just a few of the things that would be different, I’m sure you could think of many many more.
To learn more about what really comes in oysters, check out BeOysterAware.com. This great site includes oyster recipes, oyster safety information, and pretty much everything you’d ever want to know about Gulf oysters. Want to know the truth about Vibrio Vulnificus and its treatments? Want to find out what the health benefits of oysters are? How about just wanting to know how many different ways there are to cook oysters? Check out BeOysterAware.com and Be Oyster Aware!
Oh yeah… footballs don’t really come in oysters.
Football Players Who Had Roles In The Longest Yard
Here is a list of football players that were included in the filming of the movie ‘The Longest Yard’, both the original from 1974 and the 2005 remake.
The Longest Yard (1974)
Burt Reynolds (Florida State University)
Sonny Sixkiller (University of Washington)
Ray Nitschke (Green Bay Packers, Pro Football Hall of Fame)
Mike Henry (Pittsburgh Steelers, Los Angeles Rams)
Pervis Atkins (Los Angeles Rams, Washington Redskins, Oakland Raiders)
Joe Kapp (Minnesota Vikings)
Ernie Wheelwright (New York Giants, Atlanta Falcons)
Ray Ogden (St. Louis Cardinals, New Orleans Saints, Atlanta Falcons, Chicago Bears)
The Longest Yard (2005)
Michael Irvin (Dallas Cowboys)
Burt Reynolds (Florida State University)
Terry Crews (Rams, Eagles, Packers, Chargers, Redskins)
Bill Romanowski (49ers, Eagles, Raiders, Broncos)
Brian Bosworth (Seahawks)
The 2005 version of The Longest Yard also had a number of professional wrestlers included in the cast:
Bill Goldberg (who also has NFL experience)
Bob Sapp
Dalip Singh Rana
Stone Cold Steve Austin
Kevin Nash
Breaking Down The Madden Curse
Athletes and sports fans have always been some of the more superstitious people around. Dressing with the same clothes, repetitive pre-game rituals, and more are common signs at most sporting events. One superstition is the Madden Curse. The Madden Curse is the belief that a player, or his team, will have bad things happen to them if the player appears on the cover of the Madden NFL video game box.
So, here is a breakdown of the Madden Curse:
Madden NFL ‘99
Garrison Hearst,
Injury during playoff game – did not play again until 2001.
Madden NFL 2000
Barry Sanders,
Announced retirement one week before the start of training camp – Lions had no viable replacement.
Madden NFL 2001
Eddie
No injury, but statistically worst year of his career to that point.
Madden NFL 2002
Following his career best year, Culpepper had poor season and it ended with an injury.
Madden NFL 2003
Marshall Faulk,
Missed five games due to ankle injury – Never rushed for over 1,000 yards again.
Madden NFL 2004
Michael Vick,
Injured five days after release of game – Missed 11 games during the season.
Madden NFL 2005
Ray Lewis,
Statistically low season and injured in week 15 – Ravens miss the playoffs after winning their division during the previous season.
Madden NFL 2006
Donovan McNabb,
Battled sports hernia all season only to have season ending surgery.
Madden NFL 2007
Shaun Alexander,
Missed six starts after fracturing his foot – failed gaining 1,000 yards for first time since 2000.
Madden NFL 2008
Vince Young,
Poor season performance with most interceptions of his career – Missed his first football game due to injury in the NFL, college, or high school.
As superstitions go, the Madden Curse is a pretty good one with a long and lengthy history.
What To Bring For A Successful Tailgate Party
Whether you’re attending a football game or any other sporting event, tailgating is fast becoming an American pastime. Here are __ steps to a successful tailgater party.
What to bring:
Tailgate parties can be a great way to prep for a big game, and you don’t have to be going to a pro football game to have one. Tailgating parties are fun at the college level, and can be a unique thing to do before a high school game as well. Get out there and tailgate!
If you are interested in some political entertainment, check out formykountry. A great read with some great humorous looks at politics in general, and conservative issues specifically.
Check out the post related to the political lessons we can gain from playing X-Box!
In times like we are in today, it is nice to see serioius issues like world events and political thoughts attacked and conveyed with humorous overtones. The only thing worse than someone spouting off their own political beliefs, is someone who spouts off their own political beliefs while not being able to do with a sense of humor. ForMyKountry.com is truly a nice relaxing place to be both entertained and informed. It’s a lively community too, with a number of the posts attracting a large number of comments and replies.
The battle between a grown man and a neighborhood youth over the popular X-Box game Halo 3 is a great way to illustrate one side of a political philosophy. Using it to relay that philosophy as it pertains to the world of video gamers is actually very funny. You got to love the interaction with the wife of the author as well, any husband out there can immediately feel the glances and “looks” she is said to give him during the battle with the twelve year old.
Check out ForMyKountry.com today!
Inside sources with the New England Patriots have let it slip that the Patriots are turning lemons into lemonade concerning their recent violation of NFL rules. While there is apparently no truth to the rumors that head coach Bill Belichick is changing his name to Beliflick, the news of new team sponsors has leaked out with the image found below.
Other changes for the team have also been hinted at:
- Bill Belichick’s title will be changed from “Head Coach” to “Director”
- Team introductions will now be referred to as “the opening credits”.
- The “helmet cam” will be replaced by the “opposing coach’s clipboard cam”.
- New Assistant Coach: Steven Spielberg.
- Famed TV psychic Sylvia Brown will come in on Saturday Night’s to predict the opposition’s game plan for the next day.
- Super Bowl rings will be replaced with Super Hero Decoder Rings.
- Bill Belichick was known to never want to speak to Jets coach Eric Mangini again, he has since changed this to “never ever again”.
Neither head coach had much to say regarding either the videotaping incident or the punishment handed down, although when asked if he ever thought that his coaching staff had been videotaped during a game, Belichick replied “If I thought I was ending up on film, do you think I’d dress like this?”
T-shirts
v3tees offers you a great line of t-shirts to choose from from several providers as well as great reviews of the top brands out there, its not just about wearing a plain white tee anymore, there are several categories of t-shirts to choose from: funny t-shirts, grunge t-shirts, hell t-shirts, punk t-shirts and even baby t-shirts, if thats not enough there are always the latest movies, for example the transformers t-shirts which are currently hot on the market!
You can start off by watching our Wet T-shirts and if it gets you knocked up be sure to watch the Baby T-shirts section
Technorati Tags: t-shirts, tshirts, shirts, funny t-shirts, punk t-shirts
Playstation Versus The Playground!
By L.K. Reid
These days I hear the word “play stations” more often than I hear play ground. I wonder how many play grounds still exist.
I would have loved to take sonny out and kick a football around with him and see him huff and puff as I displayed my dribbling skills. But that is not to be, as there is no play ground miles from where I live.
The only playing fields that sonny sees are ones in which sports events are shown on TV or a square, rectangular or circular digital patch he sees on the gaming console of his Play Station.
That is the world he dominates, as he is the unquestioned champion of these play fields. He is in full command as he races cars, fights alien monsters, and pits himself against the greats of all games on his own terms.
The characters in these games, with which he shares these playing fields, are his friends. They don’t fret if they lose a game or show no jubilance if they beat him.
He is thrilled when he scores over them but need not worry if he performs poorly. He can abandon a game at his will and send his contenders back to their digital seclusion till he summons them again to another game when he feels the mood for it.
I am often called to try my skills and spar with him but I always find some excuse to stay away from these intensely structured digital challenges.
On a couple of occasions when I did venture to accept a challenge, I must admit my skills with the joy stick did not even conform to the lowest levels of the game.
Sonny was indeed the winner. Give me a play ground and I will have my sweet revenge.
Attention Parents: Bone up on your video game skills with a Nintendo System Wii or a Play Station 3 console. You can buy Play Station 3 at reasonable prices or find your favorite Play Station 3 Game by visiting our site!
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Michael Vick is now definitely known for more than being the (former) starting quarterback of the Atlanta Falcons. It was announced today that he will be pleading guilty to charges related to an illegal dog fighting business he owned.
An interesting side note, I decided to go take a look at MichaelVick.com (which forwards to mikevick.com) and lo and behold take a look at what came up on my screen (click to enlarge):
So, pleading guilty to federal charges, the possibility of state charges looming in the future, losing multi-millions of dollars in both salary and endorsements… and now this, running out of bandwidth. Well in the grand scheme of things it’s pretty small, but it’s still kinda funny.
Okay, I know he’s not dead or anything, but Dan Patrick’s last day on ESPN was yesterday and for anyone who was a sports fan during the 1990’s and up until last week this was the end of an era. Whether teaming with Keith Olbermann, making cameos in sports movies, or starring in those classic This Is Sportscenter commercials, DP wormed his way into the hearts of sports fans everywhere.
Listening to his ESPNradio show and you got a sense that you knew Dan Patrick as a person, and although he was “big time”, you felt he was exactly the kind of person you’d want to invite over to the house to watch a game with.
Well, it’s the end of an era. But, there is big news coming as to where he’ll surface next and in what capacity. Surf on over to Dan’s homepage to find out more.
Dan Patrick… thanks for the memories!
A Football Player’s Perspective - How to Make It to the Next Level of Play
By Casey Poppinga
It was August 2003 and my team at the time, the Pittsburgh Steelers, was holding the first live scrimmage for training camp. As a rookie in the NFL I had practiced a number of times with the team, but this was the first time I was going to suit it up for a “full contact and tackle goal line scrimmage”. The set up was easy. The first and second team offenses would go against the first and second team defenses. The offense had four downs to score a touchdown. If they scored, they won; if they failed to score the defense won.
The first team offense and defense took the field first. The offense included Jerome Bettis, Hines Ward, Plaxico Burress, and Tommy Maddox who went against a defense consisting of Joey Porter, James Farrior, and Kendrell Bell. The opposing sides lined up against each other, the referee blew his whistle to start the play clock, Tommy Maddox called out the cadence, then the ball was snapped … … from that instant, the phrase “The Next Level” was defined for me.
“The Next Level” is a phrase commonly thrown around by athletes referring to the ability to play in a professional arena such as the NFL, NBA or MLB. To me “The Next Level” is not a title you gain, e.g. Professional Football Player; it is more a state of mind, an attitude and way of thinking when competing. Therefore, I have come up with three characteristics that I believe all athletes must posses in order to achieve “The Next Level”.
1. Play, Practice and Think with 100% Effort. It is as simple as that. You should have one speed and one speed only - FAST! There is no such thing as “half speed” or “walk thru”. Regardless of what people say, that is how we practiced and prepared in the NFL. Mike Holmgren said it best one day while practicing in the middle of December while preparing for the playoffs, “We run plays at full speed during the week so when the game comes it will be second nature and all you have to do is react.”
2. Be Able to “Flip the Switch” Once the Whistle Blows. This is probably the most mental of the three characteristics. Just picture in your mind a Cheetah stalking a gazelle and how meticulous, careful and alert it is as it sets up its approach. Once that Gazelle notices it is being hunted and starts running, the Cheetah “flips the switch” and accelerates to incredible speeds. Within seconds it has the Gazelle in its grasp and the hunt is over. This is the same way you should approach every play. An average football play lasts an average of 10 seconds or less, but when that ball is snapped a literal switch should be flipped in your mind and every ounce of energy should be released at that moment.
3. Dominate. This one word sums up every quality of those who achieve “The Next Level”. To dominate simply means competing to be the BEST. Does it mean you have to be the best? NO! It just means you are working, preparing, practicing and believing YOU CAN be the BEST. You may never achieve it and if you do there will always be someone that will be better. But if you compete and approach everything with 100% effort, dedication, commitment, and hold yourself accountable, you will dominate. While I was playing with the Philadelphia Eagles during our run up to the Super Bowl in 2004, starting tight end and 3-time Pro Bowl selection Chad Lewis would always tell the team, “Time to DOMINATE!” That is literally how you should approach every conditioning drill, lift, practice, meeting and play as an athlete. You approach it no other way!!
When I witnessed the explosive power, speed and attitude that my teammates displayed that late summer day in Pittsburgh, I came to the conclusion that “The Next Level” is not a title you gain when you make it to the NFL, it is truly a state of mind and way of life for those that achieve greatness in athletics.
Casey Poppinga, Tight End. College - University of Wyoming and Utah State University. NFL Experience– Pittsburgh Steelers, Seattle Seahawks, Kansas City Chiefs and 2004 NFC Champions Philadelphia Eagles. For football training aids and football coaching videos, I recommend http://www.touchdownskills.com
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How to Get Autographs From Pro Football Players
By Jordan McAuley
When the New England Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady was eight years old, he found himself in the San Francisco Giants’ locker room, where he asked Chili Davis, a star for the team at the time, for an autograph. Davis refused, but said, “Maybe later, kid, maybe if you come by after the game.”
So the young Brandy stuck around, and after the game he re-approached his favorite player, only to be refused again with a “No, I’m not signing autographs after the game.”
The effect stuck with Brady, both in terms of the disappointment it brought him and in Brady’s future outlook on autographs when he found himself in similar situations.
“I certainly was hurt,” Brady told Tuff Stuff magazine. “But at the same time, I was in the guy’s clubhouse and now I look at it from a different perspective than I did when I was that age. At the time, though, it seemed like such a little request.”
One would expect that walking into the Patriot’s locker room and asking for autographs might be a fast way to get your butt kicked, but there are certain ways you can position yourself in the autograph-giver’s radar.
First, you must have something to sign. Having a player sign you arm may seem like a fun idea at the time–and they may well oblige–but it’s largely a pointless act since you’re going to eventually wash it off. Here’s a good rule of thumb: if you’re not going straight to the tattoo parlor to have a tattoo artist trace the autograph, don’t bother with body signing. Always carry a good-quality pen. What’s the point of handing a player something to sign if you don’t give him the means to do so?
Next, know who the heck you’re talking to. If you can call him by name, or say something that shows you have taken an interest in him, he’s going to look at you more sympathetically than some fan with a Giant “P” painted on his beer gut.
The next important thing to remember is location, location, location. It is far easier to get a player to sign something from a front row seat than from a seat in the second balcony. If you do get a good seat and also get to the game early, you can try to talk to the players as they walk by. If you can get a guy in conversation for a while, you might just end up with a few players stopping by to chat.
Sometimes a player will star signing autographs and a crowd will quickly form. This is another reason to get there early. Fighting a crowd for signatures–or worse–being in your seat as dozens of people start crowding around you, is likely to get you more than annoyed.
If you can learn where the players enter into and out of the stadium, that’s another great place to find them ready to sign, pose for photos, and shake hands. If they’re not in a hurry, they’re far more likely to stick around for a while.
There’s also always the traditional way of getting an autograph: write away for it. Most team clubs will accept mail and forward it on to the player. When writing an athlete for an autograph, the same rules apply for any mailed autograph request:
* Always include a self-addressed stamped envelope (SASE).
* Enclose a photo and/or an index cards for the player to sign.
* Do not send food, money, or gifts.
* Always include a letter acknowledging the player and his accomplishments.
* Be patient.
Sending Fan Mail:
To send fan mail to a football player, simply write him at his team’s address.
Jordan McAuley is the author of The Celebrity Black Book and the Founder of http://www.ContactAnyCelebrity.com located in West Hollywood, California. His exclusive online database provides accurate celebrity contact information including the best mailing address, agent, manager, publicist, production company, and charitable cause for over 54,000 celebrities and public figures worldwide to fans, businesses, authors, nonprofits, and the media.
Feel free to copy and distribute this article online as long as you link it back to Contact Any Celebrity at http://www.contactanycelebrity.com. You can also link back using our Affiliate Program at http://www.contactanycelebrity.com/affiliates and earn 50% monthly recurring commissions!
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Dice Sports Games That Are Fun; the Pro Football Game
By John DeJong
This is the next installment in a world of incredibly fun sports games played with dice. In the first installment I taught you how to play the college version of “Dice Football”. That was the simplest of all my dice sports games. Now it is time to start getting a little more complex. As, in all my dice football games you will need two dice, notebook paper and a pen or pencil.
You will recall that in the college version you got your box score set up so that you can begin the game and just take turns for four quarters. In the pro version the top team is always the home team and they always go first in the first and third quarters only. In the second and fourth quarters the visitor team goes first which allows the home team the advantage of “coming back” to win.
Both teams will only get three rolls of the two dice per quarter—instead of the five rolls per team in the college version. This discrepancy in rolls is due to the fact that it is much harder to score points in the pros than it is in college football. Oddly enough, it is also harder to shut out a pro team than a college team. That will be reflected in the field goal section below. You always allow the two teams to make their rolls (3) in the quarter all at once. In short, both teams roll two dice three times for each quarter of the game. Remember, the home team goes first in the first and third quarters only!
Just like in the college game scoring occurs when the two dice hit “doubles”. That is a touchdown and it’s worth six points. For the extra point you would roll two dice also—unlike the single one dice roll in college. If the dice roll results in “snake-eyes” (a pair of ones), the extra point is missed. Remember, you get three rolls of two dice per quarter per team.
Just as in the college game field goals can be attempted whenever one roll of dice results in a total of either a ten (4 & 6) or eleven (5 & 6). At that point you roll one dice to see if the field goal is good. When you attempt a field goal in the pro game and you roll a one, two, three, or four the field goal is good. Roll a five or six and that means you missed.
This is an example of how the pro game can break down. The home team rolls the dice two times before a pair of “fives” result…Touchdown! The home team rolls one dice and it results in a four…extra point is good—seven points total. The visitor then takes two rolls before rolling an eleven, which is a field goal attempt. He then rolls a two which means that the field goal is good. The total score at the end of the first quarter is home-7, visitors-3.
Neither team scores again until the fourth quarter. The visitor goes first and rolls once before rolling a ten. He rolls a six on his field goal attempt which means that he missed. Then he rolls doubles on his third and last toss and makes a successful extra point roll. His final score in the game is 10 points. Then the home team rolls three times and scores “doubles” on his last roll. He makes the extra point and wins the game with a final score of 14 to 10.
If the score ends in a tie just alternate one roll of two dice between the two teams until someone scores. In the next article I’ll teach you about handicapping the college and pro football dice games which allows you to play entire seasons and get “real-time” results. Till then, keep on rolling.
John DeJong is the creative designer for NotMeUSA. He’s been writing humorous advertisements for over 25 years. All the funny t-shirts, fun pill bottles, and gag spray bottles were created by him. You can see all his designs by visiting http://notmeusa.com/.
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